Going Home – Back to Our Roots

I had a very blessed childhood. I grew up in Ohio, in a neighborhood that included a huge extended family made up of my mother’s immediate family. Within two city blocks lived several sets of aunts, uncles and cousins as well as my grandmother. My cousins were more like brothers and sisters than cousins to me and they were all within a couple of years of my own age. My aunts and uncles were like my own parents whom I treated with the respect due my parents and they returned the favor by treating me as their own child, helping to raise me. We cousins traveled freely between each other’s houses and made ourselves at home in each other’s houses as if we were in our own homes. For all practical purposes, we were in our own homes. It was a wonderful childhood full of love and companionship tempered by the ongoing correction and discipline that is unavoidable when raising children.

And then life changed.

When I graduated from high school way back in 1970 and headed off to college in Cleveland I made a huge mistake. I just sort of dropped out of sight. Well, not really dropped out of sight. My extended family knew where I was and what I was doing but I no longer intentionally communicated with them or really went out of my way to spend time with them. I guess I became pretty focused upon me and just couldn’t find the time to stay “connected” with my extended family. Once I graduated from college I found a job in Cleveland and never returned to live in my hometown where most of my cousins established themselves and began raising families. Ever since I never attempted to “reconnect” with my aunts, uncles or cousins. Looking back on it I almost feel like the Prodigal Son who left home to find his fortune.

Now, forty years later, I really regret having lost touch with my extended family. I know that this regret is a result of my cancer having returned and my feeling like I have run out of time to reconnect with them. I only wish I had done something about it sooner.

Pat, Chris and I spent all of last week in Ohio. It had been a couple of years since we visited my hometown and we were due for a trip there. In the past, our trips to Ohio were focused upon having quality time with my sister and her family as well as my mother. We would squeeze in a quick visit to one or two aunts and uncles but that was about it. This visit was different thanks to my sister who organized a “Cousins Party”. Of course, the party was not restricted to cousins but included four generations of the family – all the aunts and uncles, most of the cousins, most of the cousins’ children and their grandchildren. There was a bunch of people there, some of whom I had not seen in forty years and some of whom I had never seen.

We had a wonderful time talking about growing up together, learning what each other is now doing and simply reestablishing old and cherished relationships with each other. It gave me the opportunity to remember where I came from and how it shaped who I am today. It also gave me the opportunity to reaffirm my love with those people who love me most. It was a very special time and I cannot thank my sister Ann enough for organizing the event. My only regret is that it took forty years and a terminal illness to make me understand the true value of my extended family.

I also have an extended family here in South Carolina. Pat’s mom and dad and her sister and brother all live here. Between the three sets of families are six cousins. I have begun to encourage the cousins to “stay connected” regardless of where life leads them. I am attempting to gently impress upon them the importance of having close relationships with those we love and to always be there for each other for support, guidance and love. I pray they take my advice.

Dear Lord, thank you for the opportunity to reconnect with my extended family in Ohio. I know that I neglected my relationships with them over the years and I pray that they can forgive me for having done that. Thank You also Lord for all of the blessings You have given these wonderful people and I ask that You continue to bless the generations that follow them.


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