Screaming for Mercy

August 12, 2010

Screaming for Mercy

Today was the first day back in the infusion chair after a year away from chemotherapy. It is funny, but it is almost like I had never stopped taking chemo. It almost felt “natural” (that is almost sick, isn’t it?) I just ran the numbers quickly through my head and I think that the infusion today was something like the 60th that I have had since we began fighting my cancer. Wow. I wonder if that makes me a professional chemo patient or something. (I would guess that my medical insurance company has a different term for it.)

At any rate, after just one infusion I have not yet felt any effects of the treatment. I suspect that this time next week after the next dose I will begin feeling the dreaded “chemo brain” where I begin slipping into a chemo induced stupor. I’m not really looking forward to that but it is a small price to pay for the ongoing gift of life that God is providing me. God is Great. God is Good.

Matthew 9:20-22 -- ‘If I only touch his cloak, I will be made well.’...Jesus turned, and seeing her he said, ‘Take heart, daughter; your faith has made you well.’

As I sat in the chair while the drugs were being pumped into my body I could hear those evil cancer cells screaming for mercy. It was music to my ears. We will show no mercy.

Dear Lord, thank you for providing us with life saving chemo drugs. I thank you for continuing to give me life. I thank you for your steadfast love and guidance.

.

2 comments:

Michael ThayerAugust 13, 2010 at 10:34 PM
Your situation is tragic, yet inspiring. It is not fair but then, if we got what was really fair for what we truly deserve, we would all be in trouble. Your circumstances are not the best, yet counter intuitively, you come across with Thanksgiving and praise with an attitude that says I deserve worse.

My situation is quite different. I have not been tried health-wise as yet. I am inconvenienced with a headache or a hangover and here you are with a life threatening disease and still offering encouragement.

There is a reward for souls like you Paul. It isn't happy talk either but a conviction, a resolve, a faith...that gives blessing and yes, healing to yourself and others.

Dear Lord, I beseech you to look down on your adopted child Paul and bless him, give him strength, and yes, even healing physically in this life ....to extend his calling and mission to deliver your message of hope and life to a confused and sick world...he is your servant..please bestow upon this man, this father and husband...a recovery that gives you glory...in Christ's name...Amen.
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Jack n PatAugust 14, 2010 at 9:46 PM
You are in our hearts and prayers...fight the good fight!
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Endure and Let Your Light Shine

1 Corinthians 10:13 -- No testing has overtaken you that is not common to everyone. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tested beyond your strength, but with the testing he will also provide the way out so that you may be able to endure it.

Hebrews 10:36 -- For you need endurance, so that when you have done the will of God, you may receive what was promised.

Proverbs 13:9 -- The light of the righteous shines brightly, but the lamp of the wicked is snuffed out.

Matthew 5:14-16 -- let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven.

Matthew 10:32-33 -- ‘Everyone therefore who acknowledges me before others, I also will acknowledge before my Father in heaven; but whoever denies me before others, I also will deny before my Father in heaven.”

The Great Commission

After Christ’s crucifixion and resurrection He returned in the flesh one last time to His apostles and instructed them in the Great Commission. These are Christ’s last words of instruction to us, as recorded by Matthew, before his final ascension to the spirit world.

Matthew 28:18-20 -- And Jesus came and said to them, ‘All authority in heaven and on earth has been given to me. Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit, and teaching them to obey everything that I have commanded you. And remember, I am with you always, to the end of the age.’*

Padre Pio

The Way to Heaven
What does it matter to you whether Jesus wishes to guide you to Heaven by way of the desert or by the fields, so long as you get there by one way or the other? Put away any excessive worrying which results from the trials by which the good God has desired to test you; and if this is not possible, resign yourself to the Divine will.

Make Yourself at Home
It is just as well to make yourself at home with the sufferings that Jesus is pleased to send you as you must always live with them. In this way, when you are least expecting to be liberated from them, Jesus, who cannot bear to keep you long in affliction, will come and relieve you and comfort you, giving you new courage.